They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
