Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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