I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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