Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
