me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
