I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
