Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
