I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
