I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
