Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
