NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
