I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
