Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
