I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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