maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
