If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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