I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
