So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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