Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
