no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
