Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
