I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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