Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
