her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my poor anus
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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