yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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