I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just gift wrapped bread.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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