Fine. I'll sleep in my office
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
