I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bring me that man meat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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