butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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