hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize