so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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