Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
