nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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