I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
