Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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