yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
