So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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