matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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