Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
