Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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