party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
