Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize