dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
