I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
