lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
