Will you blow on my dice?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
