Do you still have your period?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
