kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
