yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
