I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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