i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
