so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
