Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
