She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Randomize
