hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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