Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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