Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
