i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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