i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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