Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
