It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
